David 1 of Scotland 27 April

On this day in 1124, David I, known as "the Saint", became King of Scotland. On the death of Edgar, king of Scotland, in 1107, the territories of the Scottish crown were divided between his two brothers, Alexander and David. The death of Alexander in 1124 gave David possession of the whole starting on April 27 of that year. After some of the usual medieval skulduggery, David marched into England in 1138, and sustained, in traditional Scottish fashion, a crushing defeat on Cutton Moor in the engagement known as the Battle of the Standard. Despite this minor setback, David was the king who effectively created the kingdom of Scotland as we would now recognise it. The man was an utter swine by modern standards but then, who wasn’t in those days? Wallace and Bruce may well be remembered as the patriotic heroes who rescued Scotland from the tyranny of foreign oppression but it was David who projected Scottish royal power further than any of his predecessors and extended it more effectively than any of his successors before the fifteenth century. Nevertheless, the Scottish propensity for losing battles to the English was set and on this day in 1296 the Scots lost the Battle of Dunbar against Edward I and also on this day, but in 1650, they lost the Battle of Carbisdale. Porridge, haggis, kilts and losing battles – great nation Scotland!

Corbetts 26 April

This day, 26 April, is known in Concordia, Kansas as ‘Corbetts’. It is now an almost forgotten fact that from the mid-18th to the mid-19th centuries, a process called "carroting" was used in the making of felt hats. Animal skins were rinsed in an orange solution of the mercury compound mercuric nitrate. This process separated the fur from the pelt and matted it together. This solution and the vapours it produced were highly toxic. Its use resulted in widespread cases of mercury poisoning among hatters. Symptoms included dementia and hallucinations. All very interesting, but what has this got to do with 26 April? Well, Thomas P. Corbett, an Englishman moved to New York City in 1839. At a loss as to how to earn a living, he became a hatter. One day, with stunning clarity of purpose, he became a re-born evangelical Christian and changed his name to Boston. Furthermore, convinced that Jesus had been a hatter, Corbett began trying to imitate Him by wearing his hair very long. Sadly, on July 16, 1858, in order to avoid the temptation of prostitutes (always a wise move), Corbett castrated himself with a pair of scissors (never a wise move). Afterwards he went to a prayer meeting and ate a hearty meal. At the outbreak of the American Civil War, Corbett (now a soprano) joined the Union army and on 26 April 1865 he and 25 other Union cavalry troopers cornered John Wilkes Booth, President Lincoln’s assassin, in a tobacco barn in Virginia. Corbett shot Booth dead. Corbett was immediately arrested for disobeying orders but the charges were dropped and Corbett received his share of the reward money, which amounted to $1,653.85. Fearing a sudden onset of sanity, Corbett returned to being a hatter and moved to Concordia, Kansas where he lived in a hole dug into a hillside. 26 April - Mad as a Hatter Day.

Robinson Crusoe April 25

Robinson Crusoe, a novel by Daniel Defoe was first published 25 April 1719 and is regarded as the first novel in English. The novel was so successful that before the end of the year, this first volume had run through four editions. Within a matter of decades, it had reached an audience as wide as any book ever written in English. In fact, it is the most widely read book after the Bible, although the Guinness Book of World Records claims the same rank. As James Joyce put it (not altogether flatteringly if you are English): Robinson Crusoe "is the true prototype of the British colonist... the manly independence, the unconscious cruelty, the persistence, the slow yet efficient intelligence, the sexual apathy, the calculating taciturnity." Moving on from most popular books to most popular tunes, "La Marseillaise", a song written and composed by Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle at Strasbourg was first sung on April 25, 1792. (Clearly, the French were still smarting over the success of Robinson Crusoe.) Its original name is (the slightly less catchy) "Chant de guerre de l’Armée du Rhin" ("Marching Song of the Rhine Army). The song became the rallying call of the French Revolution and was so-called because it was first sung on the streets by troops (fédérés) from Marseille upon their arrival in Paris, although why anyone would want to sing anything about armies of the Rhine on arrival in Paris escapes me. Nevertheless, all this artistic effort was obviously very draining, because apart from the American-Mexican War, the Suez Canal being started and the St Lawrence Seaway being opened, nothing much else happened on 25 April until 1953. Just as the world was beginning to despair of 25 April, Francis Crick and James D. Watson published the "Molecular structure of nucleic acids: a structure for deoxyribose nucleic acid", which very nicely described the double helix structure of DNA. Whew.

Henry VIII April 22

Henry VIII became King of England and Lord of Ireland (later King of Ireland) on 22 April 1509. Henry VIII has become one of the most popular historical kings of the English monarchy. Astonishingly, in these days of political correctness, this is mainly based on the common perception of his larger than life character as an over-eating, womanising bon vivant. Despite this, William Shakespeare’s historical play, ‘Henry VIII: All Is True’ was never popular and, curiously, it was Henry VIII that was playing on June 29, 1613 when the Globe Theatre burnt down. Another bon vivant, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (Влади́мир Ильи́ч Ле́нин), original surname Ulyanov (Улья́нов) was born on 22 April 1870. He was a Russian revolutionary, the leader of the Bolshevik party, the first Premier of the Soviet Union, and the founder of the ideology of Leninism. All jolly interesting, but more interesting still is the little known fact that Lenin’s brain was removed before his body was embalmed in order to discover the precise location of the brain cells that are responsible for genius. The Institute of Brain was created in Moscow for this purpose but, surprisingly, never reached a satisfactory conclusion. Speaking of genius, Earth Day is celebrated in most countries on the vernal equinox (March 20) to mark the precise moment that spring begins in the Northern Hemisphere and autumn in the Southern Hemisphere. At this global moment, night and day are equal all over the world, the sun sets at the South Pole and rises at the North Pole and anyone standing on the equator at noon will not cast a shadow. Except in the United States of America who celebrate Earth Day on 22 April – you can do that if you are a super power.

Heroes April 21

April 21 is a day for heroes. Today’s heroes seem to comprise mostly overpaid sports players and television ‘personalities’ but it was not always thus. In 753 BC for example Romulus founded Rome. On April 21, 753 BC Romulus and his brother Remus started to build a settlement on the Palatine Hill, which was destined to become Rome. For some unrecorded and inexplicable reason, Remus jumped from the unfinished city wall, which was, apparently, an omen of ill fortune, so Romulus (instinctively, the history says) killed him. Remorsefully Romulus then named the city Roma, (why not Rema?) and made himself King. Now there’s someone to look up to - eat your heart out Beckham. Brazil has a hero who was a dentist. His name was Tiradentes and he was part of the Brazilian seditious movement known as the Inconfidência Mineira. Tiradentes wanted to found a republic with its capital at São João del Rei and to create a university. but the plot was betrayed and Tiradentes and 11 others were sentenced to death in 1792. In 1889 the anniversary of his death the 21 April, became a national holiday. Finally, the most famous hero of them all, Baron Manfred Albrecht von Richthofen, the "ace of aces" who won 80 air combats during World War I was killed on 21 April 1918. Von Richthofen was shot down and killed over Morlancourt Ridge, near the Somme River whilst pursuing a Sopwith Camel piloted by a Canadian, Lieutenant Wilfrid "Wop" May of No. 209 Squadron, Royal Air Force. In turn the baron was chased by a plane piloted by a schoolfriend of May, Captain Arthur "Roy" Brown, he was then caught by a bullet, shot from behind and below, passing diagonally through his chest. Von Richthofen’s plane came to rest in a field on a hill near the Bray-Corbie road just north of the village of Vaux-sur-Somme before he died, von Richthofen pointed to his plane and moaned, "Kaputt.". Even Jeremy Paxman would have a job to ‘out-comment’ that.

Enoch Powell April 20

April 20th has, throughout history been ‘one of those days’. Apart from French scientists Louis Pasteur and Claude Bernard inventing Pasteurisation on April 20 1862, which, lets face it, has been fairly useful, the 20th of April is what historians might refer to as an ‘oops’ day. For example, on April 20 1968, British politician Enoch Powell made a controversial speech in Birmingham in which he warned of what he believed would be the consequences of continued immigration from the Commonwealth to Britain. This speech became known as the ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech. Some, not surprisingly, interpreted this speech as being racist and questioned his judgement but what gave it that real ‘20th of April’ factor was that, with a keen sense of timing, Enoch made this speech on the anniversary of Hitler’s birth (April 20 1889). For the neo-nazis and fascist groups in Britain and Europe this was manna, Enoch was sacked and never re-elected for the Tory party again - oops. In 1534 French explorer Jacques Cartier, in search of the ‘Northwest Passage’ arrived on the coast of Labrador, North America on 20th April. Cartier, became convinced that he had found gold and diamonds lying about all over the place and as a result, he filled his ship with ‘jewels’ and gleefully set sail back to St Malo, ignoring the Northwest Passage plan completely. Sadly, he was to discover when he returned to France that all his samples were in fact worthless rubble - oops. In 1979 US President Jimmy Carter admitted, for no apparent reason, that, whilst fishing (on 20 April) he had been attacked by a killer rabbit. The Washington Post, headed a piece ‘President Attacked by Rabbit’ and ran it on the front page - "It was hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared and making straight for me". Well, never mind the Iran hostage crisis, what were his chances of re-election after that? Ooops.

Sir Francis Drake April 19

On April 19 1587 Sir Francis Drake, in a pre-emptive strike, ‘singed the King of Spain’s beard’ by sailing a fleet into Cadiz, one of Spain’s main ports, occupying the town for three days, destroying 31 enemy ships as well as a large quantity of stores and capturing 6 ships. This audacious attack delayed the sailing of the Spanish Armada by a year and earned Drake the astonishingly original Spanish epithet ‘El Draque’ (Dragon). 183 years later, on 19 April 1770 Captain James Cook bumped his ship Endeavour into the east cost of Australia. The site of Cook’s first landing was at Kurnell on Botany Bay, which was given its name by Sir Joseph Banks, the famous naturalist and ‘grandstander’, who was also on board. Banks introduced an amazed world to the name "kangaroo", from the aboriginal Guugu-Yimidhirr word gangaroo, which, history tells us, means ‘big grey furry hopping thing that never has a blocked nose and throws a good punch’. On the subject of sailing naturalists, the capital city of Australia’s Northern Territory is named Darwin to commemorate the 1839 visit there of the man who proved, in his book ‘The Origin of Species’, that a gangaroo is unlikely to be descended from either a male duck or a dragon. Charles Darwin died on 19 April 1882.

Polish Heroes 18 April

April 18 is a great day for remembering the heroes of Poland. On April 18 1025, for example, Boleslaus the Brave, Duke of Bohemia, declared himself to be the first King of Poland. Boleslaus, for the first time, unified all the provinces that subsequently came to comprise the traditional territory of Poland. At his coronation feast (although Kings of Poland had no crown, so post-aggrandisement party might be a better term), Boleslaus served the top Polish meal of the age - Flaki and barszcz (tripe and beetroot). Despite this culinary extravaganza, Polish cuisine was famously execrable until on 18 April 1518 Bona Sforza was crowned as Queen of Poland and married Sigismund I of Poland. She was considered the mother of modern Polish cuisine and was famous for the introduction of Italian vegetables to Polish tables - Even today, such vegetables as leeks, carrots and cabbage are known in Polish as wtoszczyzna, which refers to Wtochy, the Polish name for Italy. Nowadays, of course, if you want a good plate of cabbage, Poland is the place to go. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until the 19th Century that the waiting world saw the creation of the first Polish cook-book, by Lucyna Ćwierczakiewiczowa, which was published on 18 April 1874. She based her work on the 18th Century diaries of the szlachta (Polish nobility) who, apparently, spent a great deal of time writing about food.

Battle of Formigny 15 April

On the 15 April 1450 the Battle of Formigny hastened the end of the Hundred Years’ War. Whilst the end of a war might, by many, be seen as good news, in this case fans of Henry V of Agincourt fame ("We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; …….. That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.") might disagree. The French attack nearly annihilated the English forces, ending English domination in northern France. The English suffered 2,500 killed or seriously wounded and 900 taken prisoner while French casualties were no more than 300. With no other significant English forces in Normandy the whole region quickly fell to the victorious French. The battle is also famous for being the first decisive use of cannon. In those days they certainly knew how to have long wars. By April 15, 1632 the Swedes under Gustavus Adolphus defeated the Holy Roman Empire under General Tilly at the Battle of Rain, one of several battles that took place during the (mere) Thirty Years War. Tilly was killed trying to catch a cannon ball in his teeth. Cannons were, sadly, out of fashion by the time of the grand opening, in Des Plaines Illinois, of the first MacDonalds ‘Restaurant’ on April 15 1955.

Battle of Forum Gallorum 14 April

On the 14 April 43 BC at the Battle of Forum Gallorum, Mark Antony, besieging Julius Caesar’s assassin Decimus Junius Brutus in Mutina, defeats the forces of the consul Pansa, who is killed. This not particularly unusual event in Roman History gave William Shakespeare something to write about. Mutina (as you all no doubt know) is now called Modena and is the ancestral home of De Tomaso, Ferrari, Lamborghini and Maserati. In 1894, in order for the heaving masses to be able to appreciate Bill Shakespeares efforts, Thomas Edison demonstrated the kinetoscope, a device for peep-show viewing using photographs that flip in sequence. This device was a precursor to movies and the favourite device in the common-all-sea-side-piers ‘What the Butler Saw’ machines. On a more sombre note, in 1912 on April 14 at 11.40pm whilst sailing on its maiden voyage just south of the Grand Banks, RMS Titanic struck an iceberg and by 2.20am the next morning, just 2 hours and 40 minutes later, sank. Of a total of 2,208 people on board that night, only 705 survived; 1,503 perished. Finally, and still on a more sombre note, on 14 April 1986 a considerable number of 2.2 lb (1kg) hailstones fell on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92 people. These are the heaviest hailstones ever recorded.

Alfred Packer 13 April

Alfred Packer is reputed to be one of the only two Americans ever to be convicted of cannibalism (the other being Albert Fish). (In reality his conviction was for murder, not cannibalism because, unlike jay-walking, cannibalism is not a crime in the United States). On April 13th 1883, he was found guilty and sentenced to death. However, Packer hornswoggled the hangman because in 1885, the sentence was reversed and Packer was sentenced to 40 years hard labour instead. The judge, with a clear grasp of political correctness, commented during sentencing: "Packer, you depraved Republican son of a bitch, there were only five Democrats in Hinsdale County, and you ate them all!". Here is something to look forward to: 2004 MN4 is a Near-Earth asteroid that will come so close to Earth (only 22600 miles away) that on April 13, 2029 (Friday the 13th) it will be easily visible with the naked eye, weather permitting, from Britain. No other closely approaching objects in recorded history have been visible to the naked eye. I’m sure that Guy Fawkes, who was born today in 1570, would have loved it.

James VI of Scotland 12 April

James VI of Scotland became James I of England in 1603, thereby uniting the two kingdoms of England and Scotland and on April 12, 1606, a "Grand Union" flag was created to represent this ‘grand union’. This flag, although similar to the current ‘Union Jack’ did not include the red diagonal cross, which was added on January 1, 1801 with the 1801 Act of Union with Ireland. Unlike the flags of most other nations, the Union Flag is a royal flag, rather than a national flag. In fact, no law has ever been passed making it a national flag. This technicality would only become an issue, of course, if the Monarchy were to be disbanded. Also on this day in 1937 Sir Frank Whittle ground-tested the first jet engine designed to power an aircraft, at the British Thomson-Houston factory in Rugby, England. The RAF, always notable in the area of foresight, said it was ‘impracticable’. As if this wasn’t exciting enough, to top off the events of 12 April, in 1961 Yuri Gagarin became the first man to fly in space and (in no way suggesting a downhill slide into banality) in 1992 EuroDisney was opened in Marne-la-Vallee, France.

Napoleon Bonaparte (le petit caporal) 11 April

Napoleon Bonaparte (le petit caporal) abdicated unconditionally, on 11 April 1814. Shortly thereafter, in the Treaty of Fontainebleau the victors (Britain, Russia, Prussia and Austria) exiled him to Elba. Napoleon escaped from Elba on 26 February 1815. When he returned to the mainland, King Louis XVIII sent troops to stop him. Napoleon simply got out of his carriage and walked up to the soldiers and said "If any man would like to shoot his emperor, he may do so". The army (340,000 men) decided that this was too difficult and decided instead to have another go at pan-European domination. Happily, Napoleon’s final 100 days ended by the (rubber?) boot of the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blücher at the Battle of Waterloo on 18 June 1815 after which Napoleon was exiled to St Helena, where he died (some say of arsenic poisoning). Sadly, Napoleon never said "not tonight Josephine"; however, his dying words were the more enigmatic but less quotable "France, the Army, head of the Army, Josephine."
Speaking of mad Emperors, on 11 April 1979 Ugandan dictator Idi Amin was deposed. Whether any of this is more important than the 1868 formation of the Benevolent and Protective order of Elks in New York by Englishman Charles Algernon Sidney Vivian, I leave to others to decide.

Venus de Milo 8 April

On 8th April 1820 the Venus de Milo, a Hellenistic statue was found on the Aegean island of Melos by a peasant named Yorgos. It is believed to depict Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sexual love and physical beauty. Venus is her Roman name. Although the French bought the statue from the Turkish rulers of Melos for the price of a nice herd of goats, the ruins of an ancient theatre near which the statue was found was at that time owned by Crown Prince Ludwig I of Bavaria. Ludwig insisted that since the statue had been found on his land, it belonged to him. Unsurprisingly the French disagreed. The sculpture dates back to about 130 BC, and is thought to be the work of Alexandros of Antioch, an itinerant Greek song writer. On the subject of songs, on 8 April 1967 in Vienna, Sandie Shaw won the 12th Eurovision Song Contest with the very catchy "Puppet on a String" – surely a pinnacle in English culture.

Corpus Juris Civilis 7 April

On this day in 529, the Eastern Roman Emperor Justinian I invented Neighbourhood Watch by publishing the Corpus Juris Civilis (the fundamental work in jurisprudence). As if that wasn’t exciting enough, in 1943 Albert Hoffman synthesised Lysergic Acid Diethylamide and hence psychedelic shirt material became a long-awaited reality (or possibly not, depending on your intake of LSD). Notwithstanding these two earth shattering events, probably the most exciting thing of all time to have happened on any April 7 is a toss-up between Anthony Eden becoming Prime Minister in 1955 and the invention of the friction match by English chemist John Walker in 1827. Possibly, the birth of the internet with the publication of RFC1 at ARPA on 7 April 1969 might also be of passing interest to nerds.
Incidentally, (and, sadly, nothing to do with April 7) the word nerd first appeared in Dr. Seuss’s book If I Ran the Zoo, published in 1950, where it names one of Seuss’s many comical imaginary animals. (The narrator Gerald McGrew claims that he would collect "a Nerkle, a Nerd, and a Seersucker too" for his imaginary zoo.). The philosopher Timothy Charles Paul Fuller adopted the term nerd in the mid-1960s to describe a stereotypical intelligent recluse with poor social skills, one often the butt of others’ jokes.

Alexander Nevski 5 April

Today in 1242, the (not all that famous) Russian leader Alexander Nevski put an end to the (almost unknown) Northern Crusade against Novgorrod by inflicting a crushing defeat on the Order of Teutonic Knights in a battle fought on a 3500 square mile ice rink called Lake Chudskoye. Some years later, probably fearing another crusade, Napoleon disbanded the order, although not too successfully and today the Order survives today as a charitable organisation for distressed clerics and as a subject for opera libretti.
Also on this day in 1621, the crew of the Mayflower, having become completely cheesed off with being in America, set sail for home.

Francis Drake 4 April

On 4 April 1581 Francis Drake completed a circumnavigation of the world and was knighted by Elizabeth 1. This was a big plus for Sir Francis. Drake was also, of course, famous for winning a bowling match against Spanish Armada. Drake is less famous for making the first English slave-trading expedition. Some years later, on 4 April 1983 the Space Shuttle Challenger made its maiden voyage into space where it circumnavigated the globe several times. The Captain of the Challenger was not famous for biffing the Spanish and therefore was not knighted.

Samual Moray 1 April

In 1826 Samual Moray became bored with pioneering the development of steam powered ships and on 1 April filed the first ever patent for the internal combustion engine. In 1918, Hugh Montague (Boom) Trenchard, 1st Viscount Trenchard, having learned to fly in one of Tommy Sopwith’s aeroplanes (powered by the internal combustion engine), formed the Royal Air Force. Only 6 years later, on 1 April, the worlds first paying commercial flight was carried out by Société Anonyme Belge d’Exploitation de la Navigation Aerienne (SABENA Airlines) between Rotterdam and Strasbourg. Having exhausted the possibilities of the internal combustion engine, the RAF introduced the jet powered Harrier vertical take off aircraft into service on 1 April 1969.